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서비스 입니다.

If you can change something about yourself, what would it be and why?

작성자: 김*경
2022-07-05 747

회원님의 영작문

I think I still have many things to improve, such as a quick temper when I am even over 40 years old which is old enough to be fully mature. However, if the question above is about my appearance, I don’t have anything that I want to change because I start to know about what’s important in my life.

In my youth, I used to have many things that I wanted to change about appearance, such as an orthodontic surgery. Sometimes, I held a grudge against my parents who didn’t understand me and help me change my appearance financially . However, I really get along with my parents these days.

As I am getting old, I come to realize how important it is that I am content with what I have or what I am given by God who knows everything even though I don’t know why they happens to me.

Therefore, I try to look on the bright side and also be grateful for everything around me instead of changing about myself with so many grumbles or complaints.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve!  

Yes, we need to learn how to be contented with what we have and make the most out of it. We are unique in our own ways. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I think I still have many things to improve, such as a quick temper when I am even over 40 years old which is old enough to be fully mature.
>> I think I still have many things to improve, such as being short tempered even if I am already 40 years old, which is old enough to be fully matured. 

However, if the question above is about my appearance, I don’t have anything that I want to change because I start to know about what’s important in my life.
>> However, if the question above is about my appearance, I don’t have anything that I want to change because I started to know about what’s important in my life.

In my youth, I used to have many things that I wanted to change about appearance, such as an orthodontic surgery.
 >> In my youth, I used to have many things that I wanted to change about appearance, such as having an orthodontic surgery.

Sometimes, I held a grudge against my parents who didn’t understand me and help me change my appearance financially. 
>> Sometimes, I held a grudge against my parents because they didn't understand and help me financially to change my appearance. 

However, I really get along with my parents these days.
>> CORRECT

As I am getting old, I come to realize how important it is that I am content with what I have or what I am given by God who knows everything even though I don’t know why they happens to me.
>> 
As I am getting old, I come to realize how important it is that I am content with what I have or what I am given by God, who knows that there is always a reason behind the things that are happening to me. 

Therefore, I try to look on the bright side and also be grateful for everything around me instead of changing about myself with so many grumbles or complaints.
>> Therefore, I try to look on the bright side and be grateful for everything around me instead complaining and grumbling about changing myself. 
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