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Should companies that break workplace anti-bullying laws be punished?

작성자: 황*하
2022-07-07 961

회원님의 영작문

I agree that owners have a responsibility to make safe working environment but I don't think it is only matter of employers becase the harassment at work is caused by personal. It can be a matter of personalities, some people enjoy bullying someone, and also they are proud of it because they thought that they are superior than victims. We have learnt that laws can't solve all the problem, althouh, it helps a lot to maintain our society. Nobody believe that the heavy purnishment can reduce the crime rate. So, we have to approch to another way that is educating people frequently. In addition, owners must try to create right business culture. If so, I believe that there will be small number of harassment cases at work.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I agree that owners have a responsibility to make safe working environment but I don't think it is only matter of employers becase the harassment at work is caused by personal.
>>  
I agree that owners have a responsibility to make a safe working environment but I don't think it is only a matter of employers because the harassment at work is caused by people in general.
It can be a matter of personalities, some people enjoy bullying someone, and also they are proud of it because they thought that they are superior than victims. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >>  It can be a matter of personalities, some people enjoy bullying someone, and also they are proud of it because they thought that they are superior than their victims. 
We have learnt that laws can't solve all the problem, althouh, it helps a lot to maintain our society. 
>> We have learnt that laws can't solve all the problem, although, it helps a lot to maintain our society. 
Nobody believe that the heavy purnishment can reduce the crime rate. 
>> Nobody believes that a heavy punishment can reduce the crime rate. 
So, we have to approch to another way that is educating people frequently. 
>> So, we have to approach this problem in another way, and  that is educating people frequently. 
OR >>  So, we have to approach this problem in another way, and that is to educate and inform people frequently. 
In addition, owners must try to create right business culture. 
>> CORRECT!
If so, I believe that there will be small number of harassment cases at work.
>> CORRECT!
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