¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Of all the places you¡¯ve visited, whether it be in Korea or abroad, which would you recommend to you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-11 1016

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.
Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is. When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.

>> I've travelled  to over 60 countries.


Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. 

>> Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria, where the film Sound of Music was pictured. 

OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.
>> Of course, the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

>> The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.
>> It¡¯s a snow kingdom and I met natives of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is.

>> The third place is Orlando Florida, U.S.A, where the Disney World is.

When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

>> When I visited that place, I experienced 3D Screen for the first time and there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122912 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 2680
122911 Do you agree that expanded programs should be granted by the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 2459
122910 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1
122909 apple À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 1691
122908 10/11 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 2287
122907 How much sports do you do at school? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 0
122906 english speech contest script ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-11 2
122905 Is giving free fruits and vegetables common in Korea? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 0
122904 Social media ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 2
122903 travel ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3207
122902 10.10.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 1
122901 Are you scared of going/ seeing your doctor? Why or why not? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 4307
122900 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3355
122899 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3171
122898 Free essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3
122897 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3001
122896 What\'s the most interesting trip you\'ve ever been on? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 3066
122895 What is your busiest day of the week? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 2541
122894 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 0
122893 The best way to make kids eat more vegetables ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04