¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Of all the places you¡¯ve visited, whether it be in Korea or abroad, which would you recommend to you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-11 987

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.
Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is. When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.

>> I've travelled  to over 60 countries.


Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. 

>> Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria, where the film Sound of Music was pictured. 

OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.
>> Of course, the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

>> The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.
>> It¡¯s a snow kingdom and I met natives of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is.

>> The third place is Orlando Florida, U.S.A, where the Disney World is.

When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

>> When I visited that place, I experienced 3D Screen for the first time and there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122591 9/22 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 2440
122590 9/21 À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 2908
122589 What was the most memorable lesson your grandparents taught you? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 2356
122588 What\'s more important when learning a language: speaking,... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1
122587 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 2366
122586 homework ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-09-25 1
122585 Fitness Program Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 1
122584 Food of other countries Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 0
122583 Weekends Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 1
122582 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 2511
122581 What is your ideal partner? What qualities do you look for in... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 2227
122580 Leisure ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 2
122579 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 2348
122578 Free essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 3
122577 Free essay À±*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 3
122576 What causes decay in people\'s teeth? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 1411
122575 How can bacteria help humans? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-24 2161
122574 If I become very popular overnight, I will ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2529
122573 accident ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2588
122572 9/23 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-23 2443

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04