¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Of all the places you¡¯ve visited, whether it be in Korea or abroad, which would you recommend to you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-11 934

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.
Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is. When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.

>> I've travelled  to over 60 countries.


Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. 

>> Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria, where the film Sound of Music was pictured. 

OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.
>> Of course, the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

>> The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.
>> It¡¯s a snow kingdom and I met natives of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is.

>> The third place is Orlando Florida, U.S.A, where the Disney World is.

When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

>> When I visited that place, I experienced 3D Screen for the first time and there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121970 The advice I wanted. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2150
121969 What do you think of having tattoos? Please explain your side. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2037
121968 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1234
121967 My pet ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121966 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3
121965 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121964 The old people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121963 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1254
121962 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121961 Have you ever suffered from eating disorders? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121960 What\'s the most miserable you\'ve been? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1323
121959 Taxis ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1376
121958 8/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3538
121957 What are the harmful and beneficial effects of advertising? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1866
121956 If you\'re a movie actor, would you rather be the hero that... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1588
121955 08.26.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1870
121954 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1570
121953 Do you think that a man and a woman can have a friendship... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 2
121952 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1735
121951 What do you need to think about before renting a place to live? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1734

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04