¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

SUMMER

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*¿ø
2022-07-12 1846

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We really need air conditioner to survive during the summer. Because It's not only hot also soggy in Korea. We can't survive to just get a fan. Usually, we think that it's better to turn on the AC strongly even though It's freezing than endure high temperature. Because, we just have to put on some outer. So, we almost have the AC and fan at every single home and company.
And, we go to Water park, Beach, or Vallry. I went to the cafe last weekend, and turned out It's near the valley. So, I could see around sightseeing and the people playing and swimming in the valley. Honestly, I just work and go back home and do same things everyday, so, I can't feel the summer vibe. But, I felt the summer vibe at this day. after that, I wanted to go out somewhere and I'm going to make a plan to summer holiday. I can't wait to enjoy my holiday!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hui Won. Here's my correction to your essay. Thank you for your thoughts about the issue. ^_^
T. Irene
We really need air conditioner to survive during the summer. Because It's not only hot also soggy in Korea. 
>>> We really need air conditioners to survive the summer heat in Korea. It's also humid. 
We can't survive to just get a fan. 
>>> We can't survive by just using a fan. 
Usually, we think that it's better to turn on the AC strongly even though It's freezing than endure high temperature. Because, we just have to put on some outer. 
>>> Usually, we think that it's better to turn on the AC at a freezing temperature than endure a high temperature because we just have to put on warm clothes. 
So, we almost have the AC and fan at every single home and company.
>>> So, most homes and company buildings have both AC and fans. 
And, we go to Water park, Beach, or Vallry. 
>>> We also go to water parks, beaches and valleys. 
I went to the cafe last weekend, and turned out It's near the valley. 
>>> I went to a cafe last weekend and turned out to be near the valley. 
So, I could see around sightseeing and the people playing and swimming in the valley. 
>>> So I see people sigthseeing and swimming in the valley. 
Honestly, I just work and go back home and do same things everyday, so, I can't feel the summer vibe. 
>>> Honestly, I just work and go back home, doing the same things every day, so, I can't feel the summer vibe. 
But, I felt the summer vibe at this day. after that, I wanted to go out somewhere and I'm going to make a plan to summer holiday. 
>>> But, I felt the summer vibe today. I wanted to go out somewhere and I'm going to make a plan for the summer holiday. 
I can't wait to enjoy my holiday!
>>> Correct. 



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121763 My status in life ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 2
121762 Restaurant ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121761 About two dramas I like ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 2
121760 What holidays do you consider stressful? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 2
121759 8/22 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1254
121758 What is your favorite subject? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121757 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1513
121756 Homework for 19 Aug 2022 ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1995
121755 08.19.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1
121754 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-22 1253
121753 Do you agree that the K-ETA system should also be applied in... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-21 1081
121752 How do you think the people who were affected by this recent... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-21 1746
121751 Since you have been married for a long time, what advice can you... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-21 1
121750 What annoys you about the Internet? It makes me annoyed to... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-21 1
121749 Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What are your long-term... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-21 1192
121748 MY problem ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-21 1
121747 If you could change anything about your present home, what would... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-20 1792
121746 Does smoking give you a better image or make you look more... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-20 1
121745 What do you think are the reasons why so many people care so... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-20 2
121744 Foods Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-20 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04