¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

s it better for kids to have siblings?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-12 724

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.

Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.

Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.

>> CORRECT!
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.
>> First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, we can help each other grow and form our character.
Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.

>> CORRECT!
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 
>> When they were young, my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 

As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

>> As a result, my daughter had a sense of inferiority.
After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
>> My daughter currently plays golf but she still doesn't like her feelings towards her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. 

>> Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because my son knows about my daughter's feelings.

Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

>>  As they are growing older, they seem to be taking care of each other more, but it's sad to think that it's all their parents' fault.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121879 What can you do to make this world a better place? ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121878 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121877 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1930
121876 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 3
121875 Be annoyed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2
121874 housing ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1253
121873 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 0
121872 Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 4
121871 Caleb\'s homework for 23 Aug 2022 ±Ç*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2444
121870 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121869 Which smartphone app is your favorite? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121868 08.23.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1
121867 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1017
121866 Can you talk about a person who has influenced your life? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1980
121865 What are the ways to prevent health problems? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 2360
121864 Why the goals are important. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-25 1208
121863 8/24 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 2029
121862 How important do you think it is to use public transport? ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1742
121861 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1702
121860 8/24 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-24 1236

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04