¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

s it better for kids to have siblings?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-12 543

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.

Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.

Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think it is good to have many brothers and sisters.

>> CORRECT!
First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, help each other, grow and form character.
>> First of all, I believe that we can learn concession and compromise within the family, we can help each other grow and form our character.
Like I said, I have one son and one daughter.

>> CORRECT!
When they were young,my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 
>> When they were young, my son was judged to be very clever, and for that he received a lot of praise from those around him. 

As a result, the daughter had a sense of inferiority.

>> As a result, my daughter had a sense of inferiority.
After that, my daughter plays golf, and she still doesn't like her feelings for her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
>> My daughter currently plays golf but she still doesn't like her feelings towards her brother, even though she has much more support financially.
Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because the son knows that feeling. 

>> Of course, it is not easy to maintain a good relationship because my son knows about my daughter's feelings.

Lately, as they get older, they seem to be taking care of each other, but it\'s sad to think that it\'s all their parents\' fault.

>>  As they are growing older, they seem to be taking care of each other more, but it's sad to think that it's all their parents' fault.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120109 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 0
120108 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 752
120107 Homework. For 06.22.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1
120106 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1
120105 What do you think is the best country in the world and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 1104
120104 How long do you get ready for work? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-23 747
120103 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 814
120102 What is special about your country¡¯s cuisine? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 798
120101 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120100 What are you going to eat for dinner tonight? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 638
120099 6/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 538
120098 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 1121
120097 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 871
120096 Today\'s homework. ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 662
120095 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 816
120094 What is your hatest food and why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 567
120093 Excite older with him ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 1082
120092 [Homework] Q. What is the process for making your favorite dish? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2
120091 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 502
120090 About expensive hobby ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-22 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04