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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-12 762

회원님의 영작문

Good evening, Donna!
How was your day?
I was so exhausted, because many patients came to me and there were lots of paper works.
Thus, I am planing to drink an whiskey with raw fishes.
I think tomorrow will be harder than today.
Hence, I need some present for me and that will be my whiskey time tonight.
Of course, I won't drink so much.
Today, you asked me the changes of families in Korea.
First, there has been a change of numbers.
As you know it, most families have five members for maximum nowadays while there were many families that have more than ten members in the past.
Second, there is no preference of sons anymore.
People have thought that men is more precious than women in many developing countries.
However, Korea is getting better in most fields including it.
Third, there is a big problem about low birth rate.
Lately, many Korean think that there is no chance for their babies to be richer.
And many young parents cost lots of money for education of children.
Catch you tomorrow!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening to you too, Dr. Kim!

My day was busy, thank you for asking. I guess it was nothing compared to yours. I hope that you beat all of your paper works in time for your whiskey and sashimi. Drink moderately, you deserve some every now and then.

Anyway, regarding your homework, I couldn't agree more with all what you have said below. Drastic changes in development in your industry and economy has rocketed for the last 70 years like no any country had done before. Thus, along with it comes changes in the family structure and how people view having a family. Are people happy about these changes or they have no other choice but to follow trends? If the answer is a resounding 'yes' to happiness, it is good. If not then, there must be some adjustments made in the existing family structure  you have today.

I am grateful that you sent your homework before opening the bottle of whiskey. Eighty-five percent of your sentences were correct with very minimal grammar suggestions. Way to go! Excellent job as always. 

Cheers! (Goenbae!)

-T. Donna~

Good evening, Donna!
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I was so exhausted, because many patients came to me and there were lots of paper works.
>> Correct!

Thus, I am planing to drink an whiskey with raw fishes.
>> Thus, I am planning to drink  whiskey with raw fish.

I think tomorrow will be harder than today.
>> Correct!

Hence, I need some present for me and that will be my whiskey time tonight.
>> Hence, I need some present and that will be my whiskey time tonight.

Of course, I won't drink so much.
>> Correct!

Today, you asked me the changes of families in Korea.
>> Correct!

First, there has been a change of numbers.
>> First, there has been a change (in the number/ of the number of members).

As you know it, most families have five members for maximum nowadays while there were many families that have more than ten members in the past.
>> Correct!

Second, there is no preference of sons anymore.
>> Correct!

People have thought that men is more precious than women in many developing countries.
>> Correct!

However, Korea is getting better in most fields including it.
>> Correct!

Third, there is a big problem about low birth rate.
>> Correct!

Lately, many Korean think that there is no chance for their babies to be richer.
>> Lately, many Koreans think that there is no chance for their babies to be richer.

And many young parents cost lots of money for education of children.
>> And many young parents spend lots of money for education of their children.

Catch you tomorrow!
>> Correct!
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