¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about people with tattoos? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-13 816

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, we can feel free about doing tattoos.
Because we don't say that you can't decorate yourself.
It is same too.
Doing tattoos is one of decorations that people do.
Because of this reason, I think we can feel free about doing tattoos nowadays.
But actually, I don't like tattoos.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, we can feel free about doing tattoos.
>> In my opinion, we should have the freedom to have tattoos. 

Because we don't say that you can't decorate yourself.
>> It is because no one usually say that we can decorate or accessorize ourselves.

It is same too.
>> It is the same as well. 

Doing tattoos is one of decorations that people do.
>> Having tattoos is an example on how people decorate themselves. 

Because of this reason, I think we can feel free about doing tattoos nowadays.
>> Because of this reason, I think we should feel free to decorate ourselves with tattoos. 

But actually, I don't like tattoos.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120934 In your opinion, what other customs or practices that aren¡¯t... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 639
120933 Writing Task(Jul 14th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 770
120932 Do you think it\'s easy for people to recognize real religion... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 759
120931 Why do people become criminals? What are the causes of crime?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 442
120930 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 702
120929 Is religion important? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 693
120928 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120927 Do you prefer to have many friends or just a few that you are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 807
120926 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 681
120925 How do you feel about artificial intelligence-assisted... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 725
120924 homework Á¤*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 0
120923 homework Á¤*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 1
120922 About the zombie village. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 525
120921 homework on July 19th ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 764
120920 What is the perfect thing to do during summer there in your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 583
120919 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 538
120918 [2022.07.20_H.W] What do you like best about your culture? ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 588
120917 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 3
120916 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 347
120915 Why do you think people send their elders to nursing homes? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 880

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04