¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Obesity like other diseases, impairs the normal functioning of the body? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-14 1286

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. These facts are already well known online. However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.

I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight. At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Helena! 
I agree with you that obesity is related to our lifestyle. Having an active lifestyle can reduce the risk of being obese.
-T. Caitlyn
According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. 
>> CORRECT
These facts are already well known online. 
>> CORRECT
However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.
>> CORRECT
I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. 
>> I studied, sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day, to enroll in a university last year. 
My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. 
>> CORRECT
And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight.
>> Adding lack of exercise, I became overweight.
 At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. 
>> At that time, I did not have any disease caused by being overweight. 
However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. 
>> CORRECT
First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. 
>> First, I often experienced foot numbness and get tired easily even though I exercised for just a few minutes. 
Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123943 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 0
123942 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 0
123941 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1777
123940 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1
123939 What is the role of nuclear weapons in that future world? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1799
123938 Do you support the Seoul Metro workers going on strike? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1573
123937 Can you tell me how to get to school? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 0
123936 Which of your actions / habits could possibly annoy others? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1674
123935 What do you think about marijuana as a legal drug? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 2
123934 12/1 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-12-02 1893
123933 What do you think about celebrities getting involved in bad... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2008
123932 What is your opinion about the executive order released against... ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2325
123931 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1747
123930 If you were a clothing item, what would you be and why? Please... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2
123929 Homework (12/01) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 5
123928 Are you generally a positive person or a negative person? How? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1892
123927 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2
123926 30.Nov.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 2
123925 What kind of diet or meal plan do you have? Do you plan the food... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1417
123924 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-12-01 1732

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04