¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Obesity like other diseases, impairs the normal functioning of the body? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-14 1065

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. These facts are already well known online. However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.

I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight. At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Helena! 
I agree with you that obesity is related to our lifestyle. Having an active lifestyle can reduce the risk of being obese.
-T. Caitlyn
According to the medical journal, people with obesity are likely to have health problems such as high blood pressure and heart disease. 
>> CORRECT
These facts are already well known online. 
>> CORRECT
However, almost every person can not feel this dangerousness because they have never experienced these diseases due to obesity.
>> CORRECT
I studied sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day to enroll in a university last year. 
>> I studied, sitting in a chair for 15 hours a day, to enroll in a university last year. 
My high school served three meals however, because of the tight school study schedule, it was hard to digest all of the foods that I ate. 
>> CORRECT
And it was connected to the lack of exercise and being overweight.
>> Adding lack of exercise, I became overweight.
 At that time, I did not have any disease by overweight. 
>> At that time, I did not have any disease caused by being overweight. 
However, I encountered trivial barriers during my daily life. 
>> CORRECT
First of all, I often experienced foot numbness and I felt easily tired even though I exercised for minutes. 
>> First, I often experienced foot numbness and get tired easily even though I exercised for just a few minutes. 
Given my experience and many medical journals, obesity can impair the normal functioning of the body.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120655 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1622
120654 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1041
120653 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1188
120652 SUMMER ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1821
120651 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1207
120650 Which classmates do I sometimes spend my breaks with? The reason... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1146
120649 What do you think is the easiest thing about learning English? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 954
120648 Many young people today spend too much time following the latest... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 0
120647 Which greeting kind of annoys you? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1003
120646 Do you think robots or AI will replace human teachers in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1248
120645 7.11. Monday ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1035
120644 What illness are you afraid of the most and why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 963
120643 Do you think robots or AI will replace human teachers in the... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 925
120642 7/11 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1173
120641 Do you think the health care system in your country offers... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1154
120640 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1118
120639 How does one make good choices? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 4
120638 The appearance and character of the person I want to date. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1063
120637 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1189
120636 If you could choose another country to live in, where would it... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-11 1161

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04