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영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-07-15 537

회원님의 영작문

Good afternoon, Donna!
As you informed this morning, I enrolled the additional class just before.
Nowadays your English class is getting a part of my life.
I am so satisfied with the class everyday, and I enjoy it.
It's hot outside.
In korea, this is a vacation period.
Thus, there are little patients in my clinic lately.
I believe that this time will make us recharging.
Today's homework is about the common problems in old people.
I think there are three big problems: Financial deficiency, Health problem, and Loneliness
When they were young, they just worked hard, made money, and spent most of it without enough saving.
Current Korean old men doesn't have enough money to care themselves.
Furthermore, many of them didn't keep their body healthy and they didn't ask themselves what they really want for freetime
However, Social meetings and general health check up are getting better recently.
So, I think Financial problem is the most difficult to solve.
Have a nice weekend! Catch you Monday!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi! Good afternoon too, Dr. Kim!

I was ecstatic to see your re-enrolment today, thank you very much! It's a great honor to be your teacher. Your satisfaction and effective communicative skills in English is the best service we provide here on Power English.

Maybe the flow of your patients in your clinic is a good blessing today because you are short with staff. When your team is complete, I am sure that your patients will flock in and will be in full operation.

It's painful to see old men and women alike not prepared for the last years of their lives. When we are young and able, we live as if there is no tomorrow- this is the YOLO mentality. However, there is no best time to live but now. We cannot party and make unexcusable mistakes when we are older. As the Korean society's average age today is calculated at 41, there will be so many senior citizens in the next 20 years. I hope that your governement can allaviate to the problems that your aging population will be facing in the next decades.

The grammar suggestions were underlined for your convenience. Just like the previous days, your homework displayed accuracy, intelligence, and relevance. Keep it up!

Have a fun-filled weekend!

-T. Donna~

Good afternoon, Donna!
>> Correct!

As you informed this morning, I enrolled the additional class just before.
>> Correct!

Nowadays your English class is getting a part of my life.
>> Correct!
Or: Nowadays, your English class is becoming a part of my life. 

I am so satisfied with the class everyday, and I enjoy it.
>> Correct!

It's hot outside.
>> Correct!

In korea, this is a vacation period.
>> Correct!

Thus, there are little patients in my clinic lately.
>> Thus, there are a few patients in my clinic lately.

I believe that this time will make us recharging.
>> I believe that this time will make us recharged.

Today's homework is about the common problems in old people.
>>  Correct!

I think there are three big problems: Financial deficiency, Health problem, and Loneliness
>> Correct!
Or: I think there are three big problems: financial deficiency, health problem, and loneliness.

When they were young, they just worked hard, made money, and spent most of it without enough saving.
>> Correct!
Or: When they were young, they just worked hard, made money, and spent most of it without saving.

Current Korean old men doesn't have enough money to care themselves.
>> The current Korean old men don't have enough money to care themselves.

Furthermore, many of them didn't keep their body healthy and they didn't ask themselves what they really want for freetime
>> Furthermore, many of them didn't keep their body healthy and they didn't ask themselves what they really want for their retirement.

However, Social meetings and general health check up are getting better recently.
>> However, social meetings and general health check ups are getting better recently.

So, I think Financial problem is the most difficult to solve.
>> Correct!
Or: financial

Have a nice weekend! Catch you Monday!
>> Correct!
Or: Have a nice weekend! Catch you on Monday!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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