¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-21 774

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
First, they have less conversations with their children.
Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
Second, they think about their children's study too much.
So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

First, they have less conversations with their children.
>> CORRECT

Because of this reason, some of my friends don't like to talk with their parents.
>> CORRECT

Second, they think about their children's study too much.
>> Second, they think about their children's education too much.

So my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.
>> This is why my friends sometimes get too much stress about their study.

And the last one, they try to stop playing outside.
>> 
And the last one is that they try to stop them from playing outside.

Because of this, as we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.
>>As we get older and older, there is no time to play with our friends.

Because of these reasons, I think parents nowadays are different from parents in the past.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120815 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 1012
120814 How can travelling be an educational experience? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 2
120813 Why do you think many people love to travel? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 2
120812 Previous class review À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 834
120811 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-17 1119
120810 previous class review (1st Interveiw story) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 2
120809 What is the meaning of Selling like pancakes? ½Å*¼· ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-16 818
120808 Why do you think people learn different languages? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 2
120807 My favorite subject. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 944
120806 Meaning of being healthy. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 439
120805 How to get avoid of sick ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 908
120804 The most enjoyable part ot studying. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-16 807
120803 7/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 557
120802 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 743
120801 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 702
120800 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 616
120799 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 2
120798 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 567
120797 How do you avoid getting sick? Share your answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 4842
120796 compositions using the word \'Wish\' and the word \'Hope\' ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 745

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04