¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think could be done to control if not decrease the violent crimes that are happening in

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹®*Çö
2022-07-23 670

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

From my perspective, there are various reasons behind the uptick in violent crimes happening in South Korea, such as economic recession, gender inequality, paternalism, etc. Since it is not limited to one factor, there could be multidisciplinary strategies to tackle the problem. I would focus on gender inequality. Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. However, the rising demand has allowed legislation to be enacted, such as preventing gender discrimination during the hiring and promotion procedures. I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constantly expanding learning curve. However, some intellectuals are politicizing the issues. Recently, there was an incident where a female student was found dead after being harassed by a classmate. Some congresspeople politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Aciel!

From my perspective, there are various reasons behind the uptick in violent crimes happening in South Korea, such as economic recession, gender inequality, paternalism, etc. 
>>> correct   
Since it is not limited to one factor, there could be multidisciplinary strategies to tackle the problem. 
>>> correct
I would focus on gender inequality. 
>>>  correct  
Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. 
>>>  The Korean society has been deeply influenced by the Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. 
>>>  OR: The Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucianism, which distinguishes the division of each gender role in the society.  
However, the rising demand has allowed legislation to be enacted, such as preventing gender discrimination during the hiring and promotion procedures. 
>>>  correct  
I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constantly expanding learning curve. 
>>>  I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constant expansion of learning curve. 
>>> OR:   I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through constantly expanding learning curve. 
However, some intellectuals are politicizing the issues. 
>>>  correct    
Recently, there was an incident where a female student was found dead after being harassed by a classmate. 
>>>   correct   
Some congresspeople politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.
>>>Some congressmen politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120442 Do you celebrate the things you do have? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 3
120441 About parenting ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120440 What is your opinion about abortion? Should it continue to be... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 604
120439 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 581
120438 The homework about the definitions of the words ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 690
120437 Homework and asking for understanding ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 711
120436 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 765
120435 Traveling ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120434 Last conversation. (My younger brother\'s investment) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120433 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 5
120432 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 5
120431 Job interview Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1
120430 With a curfew, teenagers can¡¯t have any fun. Do you agree? Why... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 861
120429 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 9
120428 What are your plans this coming weekend? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 700
120427 advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large... ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120426 Homework for 07.04.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120425 Who is the person that you admire the most? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 0
120424 What are your daily habits? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 853
120423 What culture in South Korea would you want to bring back? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 880

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04