¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think could be done to control if not decrease the violent crimes that are happening in

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹®*Çö
2022-07-23 796

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

From my perspective, there are various reasons behind the uptick in violent crimes happening in South Korea, such as economic recession, gender inequality, paternalism, etc. Since it is not limited to one factor, there could be multidisciplinary strategies to tackle the problem. I would focus on gender inequality. Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. However, the rising demand has allowed legislation to be enacted, such as preventing gender discrimination during the hiring and promotion procedures. I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constantly expanding learning curve. However, some intellectuals are politicizing the issues. Recently, there was an incident where a female student was found dead after being harassed by a classmate. Some congresspeople politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Aciel!

From my perspective, there are various reasons behind the uptick in violent crimes happening in South Korea, such as economic recession, gender inequality, paternalism, etc. 
>>> correct   
Since it is not limited to one factor, there could be multidisciplinary strategies to tackle the problem. 
>>> correct
I would focus on gender inequality. 
>>>  correct  
Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. 
>>>  The Korean society has been deeply influenced by the Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. 
>>>  OR: The Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucianism, which distinguishes the division of each gender role in the society.  
However, the rising demand has allowed legislation to be enacted, such as preventing gender discrimination during the hiring and promotion procedures. 
>>>  correct  
I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constantly expanding learning curve. 
>>>  I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constant expansion of learning curve. 
>>> OR:   I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through constantly expanding learning curve. 
However, some intellectuals are politicizing the issues. 
>>>  correct    
Recently, there was an incident where a female student was found dead after being harassed by a classmate. 
>>>   correct   
Some congresspeople politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.
>>>Some congressmen politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119484 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 2
119483 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 313
119482 My personal life¡¯s activity. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 556
119481 My favorite movie ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 604
119480 What skills would you want to develop? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 1
119479 What was the bravest thing you ever did? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 0
119478 Who do you want to invite for a date if you have the courage to... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 495
119477 What are you most afraid of? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 537
119476 Do you still watch cartoons today? Why or why not? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 419
119475 Does your hometown have any festivals? What happens at that... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 492
119474 How important are clocks for you? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 481
119473 A bad hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 2
119472 Do you think vaccines are important and effective? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 543
119471 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 464
119470 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 352
119469 About good news ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 349
119468 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 583
119467 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 1
119466 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 1
119465 What is the worst experience you¡¯ve had on public... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-31 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04