¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think could be done to control if not decrease the violent crimes that are happening in

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹®*Çö
2022-07-23 817

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

From my perspective, there are various reasons behind the uptick in violent crimes happening in South Korea, such as economic recession, gender inequality, paternalism, etc. Since it is not limited to one factor, there could be multidisciplinary strategies to tackle the problem. I would focus on gender inequality. Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. However, the rising demand has allowed legislation to be enacted, such as preventing gender discrimination during the hiring and promotion procedures. I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constantly expanding learning curve. However, some intellectuals are politicizing the issues. Recently, there was an incident where a female student was found dead after being harassed by a classmate. Some congresspeople politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Aciel!

From my perspective, there are various reasons behind the uptick in violent crimes happening in South Korea, such as economic recession, gender inequality, paternalism, etc. 
>>> correct   
Since it is not limited to one factor, there could be multidisciplinary strategies to tackle the problem. 
>>> correct
I would focus on gender inequality. 
>>>  correct  
Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. 
>>>  The Korean society has been deeply influenced by the Confucian culture, which confirms the division of each gender role in the society. 
>>>  OR: The Korean society has been deeply influenced by Confucianism, which distinguishes the division of each gender role in the society.  
However, the rising demand has allowed legislation to be enacted, such as preventing gender discrimination during the hiring and promotion procedures. 
>>>  correct  
I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constantly expanding learning curve. 
>>>  I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through a constant expansion of learning curve. 
>>> OR:   I believe Korean society must gradually shift to gender equality through constantly expanding learning curve. 
However, some intellectuals are politicizing the issues. 
>>>  correct    
Recently, there was an incident where a female student was found dead after being harassed by a classmate. 
>>>   correct   
Some congresspeople politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.
>>>Some congressmen politicized such an incident as a clash between men and women, which exacerbated misunderstanding.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119343 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 443
119342 What do you think about taking a nap? How about sleeping in? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 534
119341 What¡¯s the best birthday party you¡¯ve ever had? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 524
119340 What festivals or celebrations does your country have during the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 315
119339 about transportation ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 4
119338 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 4
119337 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 299
119336 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 510
119335 Good and bad experiences with sports at school. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 595
119334 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 1
119333 A hobby ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 4
119332 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 0
119331 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 1
119330 pictures ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 421
119329 5.25 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 471
119328 In your culture, is it polite to be straightforward and direct... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 425
119327 Aside from a house and car, what are other things for rent in... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 2
119326 What festivals or celebrations does your country have during the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-26 511
119325 5/25 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 426
119324 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04