¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-25 1315

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
Second, we are not lonely.
Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
>> CORRECT

First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
>> 
First, we spend a lot of time with our pets, which shows that we love them. 

If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
>> If we love something, we will be able to grow emotionally. 

Second, we are not lonely.
>> Second, we won't be lonely.

Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
>> Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't be anymore. 

And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
>> Third, it can be a good experience for us to take care of pets. 

Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.
>> Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one the best experiences. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123026 10.11.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 3
123025 10/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 6666
123024 Which sense would you like to improve if possible? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 0
123023 Are you good at following a recipe? Or do you prefer to get... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 2
123022 Do you consider toasting bread, preparing instant noodles, or... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1
123021 10/14 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 4451
123020 Would you like to move to a country with a lower cost of living?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2874
123019 Compare the home you lived in before to the one you live in now.... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 13
123018 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 3438
123017 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2892
123016 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2970
123015 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 3247
123014 What is a good sight to see on Jeju Island? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2
123013 Describe your own room in your house. How does it look like?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2
123012 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2730
123011 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2319
123010 Weaknesses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 0
123009 How do you usually feel on your first first day of class? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 3052
123008 10/14 HOMEWORK ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2878
123007 10/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2557

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04