¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-07-25 1077

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
Second, we are not lonely.
Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, having a pet is good to us for some reasons.
>> CORRECT

First, we spend a lot of time to our pets, and that means that we love them.
>> 
First, we spend a lot of time with our pets, which shows that we love them. 

If we love something, then we are able to grow our abilities related to emotions.
>> If we love something, we will be able to grow emotionally. 

Second, we are not lonely.
>> Second, we won't be lonely.

Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't.
>> Some people might think that they are too lonely, but if they have a pet, they won't be anymore. 

And third, it is a good experience because we can feel a lot of things by taking care of our pets.
>> Third, it can be a good experience for us to take care of pets. 

Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one of good experiences.
>> Because of these reasons, I think having a pet is one the best experiences. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120708 What is the most special memory you share with your sibling? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1096
120707 What is your opinion about people with tattoos? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 761
120706 What is your opinion about people with tattoos? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 971
120705 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 865
120704 Bullying Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1
120703 What do you think is the biggest difficulty in being a college... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 824
120702 How often do you go to a cafe? What do you usually buy? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 802
120701 I love sun dae guk. ±è*¿Ã ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 807
120700 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones?... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 844
120699 What would life be like without friends? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1163
120698 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 719
120697 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1248
120696 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 735
120695 Graduation experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1
120694 homwork Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 0
120693 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1283
120692 Why is gambling addictive? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 788
120691 Plastic bags take up less space in a landfill than paper bags? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1410
120690 HOMEWORK: Tell me something about your favorite song. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 11
120689 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04