¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write a script answering the question: Where do you live?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¾Æ
2022-07-27 861

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I live in an apartment with my family in Hwaseong city.
There is a living room with a sofa
There are three bed room, two bed rooms are my children's room and the other is mine.
Also, the apartment faces the south so it is very bright and sunny during the day
and warm in the afternoon.
I spend most of my time in my computer room to study and relax.
It is very cozy and comfortable. so, I think my house is a good place to live.
In the past, I lived in a small apartment, but on the other hand, I live in a large apartment now.
Compared to my old house, my current house is brighter and more specious.
My old house had small three bedrooms with one bath room
but now, my current house with two bath rooms and big tree rooms.
Overall, my current house is better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Julia!
Thank you for writing a script about your place. Please take note of the corrected sentences and practice them for our class on Friday.
Have a good afternoon!
Aki~
I live in an apartment with my family in Hwaseong city.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >>> I live with my family in an apartment in Hwaseong City.
There is a living room with a sofa.
>>> CORRECT!
There are three bed room, two bed rooms are my children's room and the other is mine.
>>> There are three bedrooms;  two bedrooms are for my children and the other is ours.
Also, the apartment faces the south so it is very bright and sunny during the day and warm in the afternoon.
>>> CORRECT!
I spend most of my time in my computer room to study and relax.
>>> I spend most of my time in my computer room studying and relaxing.
It is very cozy and comfortable. so, I think my house is a good place to live in.
>>> CORRECT!
In the past, I lived in a small apartment, but on the other hand, I live in a large apartment now.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> I used to live in a small apartment.
Compared to my old house, my current house is brighter and more spacious.
>>> CORRECT!
My old house had small three bedrooms with one bathroom.
>>> CORRECT!
but now, my current house with two bathrooms and big tree rooms.
>>> But now, my current house has two bathrooms and big three rooms.
Overall, my current house is better.
>>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121016 What do you do in a typical workday in your workplace? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 656
121015 How do you balance your work and personal life ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 2884
121014 My extended family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 0
121013 An answer to the topic \"Why do some people save money and some... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 1063
121012 What is your best school memory and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 1020
121011 Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 947
121010 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 625
121009 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 712
121008 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 755
121007 7/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 769
121006 What things about summer do I like most and least? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 504
121005 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 2
121004 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 652
121003 What are your feelings about shopping? Is it a pleasure or... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 656
121002 Diary ^3^ Áö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 510
121001 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 875
121000 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 3
120999 What is the best thing to do to stay healthy? Do you consider... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 2470
120998 Among those you are not related to, who has helped you most in... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 626
120997 Are men better chefs than women or are women better chefs than... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 366

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04