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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Hi Gemmar

작성자: 이*진
2022-07-28 1175

회원님의 영작문

Here is my funny and sad story.
This story happened when I lived alone about 25years ago.
It was in the middle of the night while I was sleeping
I heard something strange, so I opened my eyes and found someone near my bed.
I was shocked.
When I started to scream, the man tried to hit me to stop my screaming.
But I am a tall girl (170cm) as tall as him, therfore I fought with him without any scare ( It was instinct to protect me by myself hihihi)
He lost the fight and asked me to be quiet.
I said OK and asked leaving my house.
He went out through the main door just like leaving his house.
After he left my house, I watched the mirror with fear,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
And I saw,,,,,, his foot print left a mark on my left cheek.
I laughed out and cried out alone in the middle of the night.
hahahahaha ^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Ms. Eunice! Happy Friday! That story sounds scary. If I were you, I wouldn't know what to do. Maybe out of nervousness, I would follow what the culprit would say. It was one summer when I had an experience with a guy who tried to sneak our house. That time he finally had opened my bedroom window. My bed was just beside the window. I suddenly woke up at around 3am that day. I felt cold and I noticed that my windows were widely opened. It was dark in my room however, I could see a flashlight coming from the outside roaming around my room. I didn't know what to do. I knew there was someone outside. I couldn't move my body, but I know I had to do something or else that culprit from the outside might do something to me. So I tried to be so brave to look by the window. I counted from one to ten and got up and yes! I saw someone! When he saw me he ran away so fast. I guess he was so scared because that time my hair was a mess hahaha! You know I have a long curly hair. Hahaha! Anyway, in the morning, I found one pair of the culprit's slipper in our veranda. And heard that there were some of my neighbors who were victimized by him. My neighbors lost their smartphones, laptop, wallets and others. That was so scary and funny too hahaha!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Here is my funny and sad story.
>>> CORRECT
This story happened when I lived alone about 25 years ago.
>>> CORRECT
It was in the middle of the night while I was sleeping.
>>> CORRECT
I heard something strange, so I opened my eyes and found someone near my bed.
>>> CORRECT
I was shocked.
>>> CORRECT
When I started to scream, the man tried to hit me to stop my screaming.
>>> When I started to scream, the man tried to hit me to stop me from screaming.
But I am a tall girl (170cm) as tall as him, therefore I fought with him without any scare ( It was instinct to protect me by myself hihihi)
>>> But I am a tall girl (170cm) as tall as him, therefore I fought with him without any doubts ( It was an instinct to protect myself hihihi)
He lost the fight and asked me to be quiet.
>>> CORRECT
I said OK and asked leaving my house.
>>> I said OK and asked him to leave my house.
He went out through the main door just like leaving his house.
>>> CORRECT
After he left my house, I watched the mirror with fear,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
>>>After he left, I looked at the mirror trembling.
And I saw,,,,,, his foot print left a mark on my left cheek.
>>> CORRECT (Ohhh that must be so painful )
I laughed out and cried out alone in the middle of the night.
>>> CORRECT
hahahahaha ^^
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