¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*È£
2022-07-29 902

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown is typically called bedtown. In Korea, bedtown means cities of around the capital. They are close to Seoul and got a convenient trasportation system. Most people who living in bedtown, go to Seoul to work because most of the companies are concentrated in Seoul. So most Bucheon people who go to seoul to work seem tired from monday to friday. However, Buchoen turn into energetic city when weekends. In the park, a huge number of people take a walk with their dogs and cats. Also they come out to playground to exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Yeong Ho!
I can really see your improvement when it comes to writing. You can now create great sentences with correct grammar. Keep it up!
-T. Caitlyn
My hometown is typically called bedtown. 
>> CORRECT
In Korea, bedtown means cities of around the capital. 
>>In Korea, bedtown means cities around the capital. 
They are close to Seoul and got a convenient trasportation system. 
>> They are close to Seoul and have a convenient transportation system. 
Most people who living in bedtown, go to Seoul to work because most of the companies are concentrated in Seoul. 
>> Most people living in bedtown go to Seoul to work because most of the companies are concentrated in Seoul. 
So most Bucheon people who go to seoul to work seem tired from monday to friday. 
>> So most people from Bucheon who goes to work in Seoul seem tired from Monday to Friday. 
However, Buchoen turn into energetic city when weekends. 
>> However, Buchoen turns into an energetic city on weekends. 
In the park, a huge number of people take a walk with their dogs and cats. 
>>CORRECT
Also they come out to playground to exercise.
>>Also, they come out to the playground to exercise.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121970 The advice I wanted. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2129
121969 What do you think of having tattoos? Please explain your side. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1989
121968 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1188
121967 My pet ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121966 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3
121965 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121964 The old people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121963 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1220
121962 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1
121961 Have you ever suffered from eating disorders? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 2
121960 What\'s the most miserable you\'ve been? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1277
121959 Taxis ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1322
121958 8/29 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 3482
121957 What are the harmful and beneficial effects of advertising? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1832
121956 If you\'re a movie actor, would you rather be the hero that... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1547
121955 08.26.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1827
121954 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-29 1521
121953 Do you think that a man and a woman can have a friendship... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 2
121952 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1704
121951 What do you need to think about before renting a place to live? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-28 1711

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04