¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What gadget is very destructive in your opinion? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¿¬
2022-07-31 1084

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A smartphone has a very destructive power to us.Thanks to a development of technology, we can handle many things with this small rectangular type of gadget. However, smartphones affect our health negatively through bad eye vision, back&neck pain, a lack of concentration and insomnia. Furthermore, as the number of phone users increases, cyber bullying is a significant problem in nowadays. Many stars have been troubled with online haters. For these reasons, I chose a smartphone as a destructive gadget.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Judy!

While it is true that Smartphones give us a lot of benefits, it is a double edged sword that cuts us when used wrongly. There is not much problem about this technology. It is the people who use it who we cannot control well.

Thus, congratulations on a job well done on this homework answer! Excellent job!

See you on the next class and homework.

-T. Donna~ 

A smartphone has a very destructive power to us.
>> Correct!

Thanks to a development of technology, we can handle many things with this small rectangular type of gadget. 
>> Thanks to the development of technology, we can handle many things with this small rectangular type of gadget. 

However, smartphones affect our health negatively through bad eye vision, back&neck pain, a lack of concentration and insomnia. 
>> Correct
Or: However, smartphones affect our health negatively through bad eye vision, back and neck pains, a lack of concentration, and insomnia. 

Furthermore, as the number of phone users increases, cyber bullying is a significant problem in nowadays. 
>> Furthermore, as the number of phone users increases, cyber bullying is a significant problem nowadays. 

Many stars have been troubled with online haters. 
>> Correct!

For these reasons, I chose a smartphone as a destructive gadget.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122300 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1828
122299 What do you want to do next year? Why? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 4
122298 What do you like most about celebrating Cheusok? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2291
122297 What are the good and bad things about traveling? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2023
122296 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2
122295 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1772
122294 How to stop fake news. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2286
122293 What are you looking forward to most this coming holiday? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2340
122292 Social media is very easy to be addicted ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 0
122291 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1706
122290 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 3234
122289 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 3293
122288 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2
122287 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1
122286 My hometown ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1
122285 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2539
122284 holidays ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2307
122283 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1631
122282 How is English different from Chinese? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2905
122281 Weekends Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04