¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-01 1244

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In other countries, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

We have the place where there are nurses and doctors to look after the elderly In Korea.
All of Korean who make money have to pay every month medical insurance which payment inculdes prepration for when we get old.
With this insurance , all the elderly korean can use nursing program on small money.
Korea medical insurance system is famous for cheap and well organised system in the world.
But as people's life is getting longer, the nest generation have to pay more and longer than the elderly had paid.
Goverment already knows that the money will run out soon because of life extention, therefore medical insurance fee has been increaseing every year.
I don't complain because I will be also old. (SAD)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks for diligently answering your essay! See you later! I'm actually in the office now because my area is affected with power interruption. I hate going to the office. Hahaha! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
We have the place where there are nurses and doctors to look after the elderly In Korea. ( IS IT SILVER TOWN? )
>>> CORRECT 
All of Korean who make money have to pay every month medical insurance which payment inculdes prepration for when we get old.
>>> Koreans have to make money to pay their monthly medical insurance which includes the preparation for senior life. 
With this insurance , all the elderly korean can use nursing program on small money.
>>> With this insurance, the elderly Koreans can use the nursing program with small amount of money.
Korea medical insurance system is famous for cheap and well organized system in the world.
>>> CORRECT 
But as people's life is getting longer, the nest generation have to pay more and longer than the elderly had paid.
>>> But as people's life expectancy is getting longer, the next generations have to pay more and longer than the elderly. 
Goverment already knows that the money will run out soon because of life extention, therefore medical insurance fee has been increaseing every year.
>>> The government already knows that the money will run out soon because of longer life expectancy, therefore the medical insurance fee has been increasing every year.
I don't complain because I will be also old. (SAD) ( IT'S SOMETHING INEVITABLE THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DO YOLO )
 >>> CORRECT 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119686 drink ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 793
119685 What are the best and worst things about renting an apartment in... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119684 Do you think police TV dramas are realistic? Why or why not? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 648
119683 How would your life change if you were fluent in English? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119682 Do you think there should be the death penalty? Why or why not? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 3
119681 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 897
119680 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 650
119679 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 658
119678 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 708
119677 How do you feel when you do not work out or get any exercise? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 4
119676 What do you think is the best job in the world? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 690
119675 [Homework] Q. What makes a restaurant famous? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 2
119674 6/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 3
119673 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 484
119672 How important is freedom for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 619
119671 Shabu shabu is my soul food ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 724
119670 We can\'t meet each other ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 531
119669 I like my eating habit ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 728
119668 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 653
119667 I know many happily married couples. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 681

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04