¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most common crime in your country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹é*¿ø
2022-08-02 2063

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think is the most common crime in your country? Why?

The most common crime in Korea is sexual assault. Most criminals¡¯ target are women. The reason why this crimes don¡¯t decrease is low-level government punishment. So I think the intensity of the sentence should be strengthened in Korea. Also ¡®Death Penalty¡¯ is need for criminals. If it comes back to South Korea, the crimes will be strikely decreased. But someone think it is inhumane. But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than for innocent people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Harry!
Thank you for writing this beautiful essay. 
I loved reading your opinions in relation to the question. 
I also agree that death penalty should be reinstated because it has a stronger impact on criminals. 
Anyhow, I hope you're doing great. See you in class tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry :)



The most common crime in Korea is sexual assault. 
>> CORRECT!
Most criminals¡¯ target are women. 
>> CORRECT!
The reason why this crimes don¡¯t decrease is low-level government punishment. 
>> The reason why this crime doesn't decrease is because of the light punishment the government gives. 
So I think the intensity of the sentence should be strengthened in Korea. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> So I think heavier punishment should be given in Korea. 
Also ¡®Death Penalty¡¯ is need for criminals. 
>> Also, ¡®death penalty¡¯ is necessary for criminals. 
If it comes back to South Korea, the crimes will be strikely decreased. 
>> When reinstated in South Korea, the crimes will strikingly decrease. 
But someone think it is inhumane. 
>> But some people think it's inhumane. 
But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than for innocent people.
>> But in my opinion, it is much better for criminals to get hurt than innocent people.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121262 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 805
121261 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 2
121260 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-08-02 1
121259 Do you think that human beings can learn anything from animals? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1118
121258 What are the benefits of reading books? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 717
121257 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 0
121256 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121255 I have some questions about my writing isn¡¯t it correct? I want... ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 3
121254 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1279
121253 Who is the noisiest person in your family? What makes them so... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121252 08.01.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121251 Can you tell me about your favorite restaurant? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 875
121250 What healthy food do you eat after exercising? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1216
121249 Are men better drivers than women? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 2
121248 Talk about your experience of learning and using the English... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1272
121247 8/1 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 847
121246 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 2543
121245 discipline ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1048
121244 . ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 766
121243 What are the benefits of reading books? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-01 1138

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04