¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-03 1130

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, Donna.
My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
Foods are very important to me.
Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Dr. Kim!

I had a light and filling lunch. I hope that your meal choice for your clinic today was very healthy and tasty. Food is life so we have to do our best to eat right. Well, curating your meals is a huge task to fulfill. The health of your team is in your hands. I am sure that you have a very good taste when it comes to food menu.

Most food that we ingest may be nutritious. However, beverages such as alcohol goes directly to the blood stream and take effect in just a few minutes. So, the damage that it creates to our entire physical system can be cumulative overtime.  Drinking moderately is recommended therefore. If our skin still gets bad, people just have to see you as a dermatological doctor who can give them professional advice on how to mainatain a flawless skin.

Keep up the straightforward and clear ideas in your sentences. In addition, you have used complex sentences and they were excellent. 

Catch you again soon. Enjoy your lunch!

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

My eyes are getting better owing to your concerns.
>> Correct!
Or: My eyes are getting better, thanks to your concern.

This morning, we started a new topic. "eating"
>> Correct!
Or:This morning, we started a new topic, "eating"

As you know it, I love to eat some delicious food.
>> Correct!

One of my routine jobs in the morning is to choose the lunch menu every morning.
>> Correct!

Foods are very important to me.
>> Correct!

Thus, I gained weights, and it causes knee pain.
>> Thus, I gained weight, and it causes knee pain.

Moreover, I also got a digestive problem.
>> Correct!

Some foods make our skin unhealthy.
>> Correct!

Among them, the most harmful food is an alcohol.
>> Among them, the most harmful beverage is alcohol.

When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and skins can be getting dry.
>> When we drink, our facial vessels can be dilated, and the skin can (be getting dry/ get dry).

In addition, after drinking, we usually don't have a good quality of sleep, and then we are so tired, so it makes our skin more terrible.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can makes many kinds of folliculitis including acne.
>> Meanwhile, high sugar concentrated foods can increase the sebum in our skin, and it can make many kinds of folliculitis including acne.

For our better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.
>> Correct!
Or: For better skin, we should stay away from fastfoods like hamburger, pizza, ramen, and so on.

It's so difficult for us to select only good foods.
>> Correct!

I wish you can enjoy your lunch today~ LOL
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122864 If you have nothing to do, do you enjoy yourself or do you get... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2652
122863 My short-term and long-term goals are.. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2742
122862 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122861 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2752
122860 Control ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122859 Are you a creative person? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2544
122858 Hi Jhozel ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 131
122857 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2
122856 \"When\" practice ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 3
122855 if practice ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 5
122854 What do you think are the health benefits of ginseng? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1983
122853 h À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2789
122852 10.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122851 What makes an advertisement/ commercial memorable? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 1
122850 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-07 2504
122849 10/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 3297
122848 Travel ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2552
122847 2022.10.06. °­*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 1
122846 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2194
122845 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04