¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think that young people like you should travel?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±¸*¿ì
2022-08-04 1413

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other country's traditional things and activities. If I go to abroad,I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. As young people,they can enjoy more travel and more activities. Because they know to play activity more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning Daisy!
You finally figured out where to write your homework! Good job for that,
Kindly check on those corrected sentences for the improvement of your English skill. Have fun!
See you later in class!
T.  Aki~
I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other country's traditional things and activities.
>>> I think that young people like me should travel because young people have curious about other countries' traditional things and activities.

If I go to abroad,I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. 
>>> If I go abroad, I want to enjoy that country's weather and games. 

As young people, they can enjoy more travel and more activities.  Because they know to play activity more.
>> Young people can enjoy traveling more because they know how to do and play different activities.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122652 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 2101
122651 posting ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 2707
122650 09.27.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 1
122649 If you were a parent, how would you interfere in your child¡¯s... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-28 1
122648 Writing Task ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2655
122647 Homework ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2899
122646 9/27 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2408
122645 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1894
122644 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2676
122643 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 1
122642 Self introduction ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 3
122641 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 0
122640 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being the oldest... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 3587
122639 What is the most boring activity for you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 3434
122638 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 0
122637 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2062
122636 Do you think your test scores reflect your true ability and... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2264
122635 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a queen? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 4173
122634 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 3
122633 Use the following phrases in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-27 2583

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04