¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-08-08 1067

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, Donna.
In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
The village near my clinic was full of water.
On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
Good luck to me and my country.
Today's homework is about sports.
Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
And I like to watch a baseball and football.
Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
Good night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. Kim!

It is sad to hear about your flooding situation in your place and the heavy rains and thunderstorms in your country. I have seen the news in California, USA where the amount of six months of rain flooded a famous park and submerged so many cars. In this case, when the worse gets to worst, you better leave your car and seek for a higher ground. I hope this never happens to you. Here in the Philippines, it can be a usual scenario in Manila. In short, be safe and vigilant on the road.

Now, sports teach us discipline, camaraderie, teamwork, speed, and strength. When we play one, it means we had the time to train for so many painstaking hours to be good at a sport. In your case, you have tried so many. Thus, that is quite impressive. I hope that you can find more time to swim with your daughter and enjoy being better at this sport.

You used some new expressions here on your composition. Thank you for doing your best to express your thoughts and current situation through this writing exercise. Kindly go over the other grammar details of my suggestion. 

See you in a few!

-T. Donna~

Hi, Donna.
>> Correct!

In Korea, now it's pouring just like the word means.
>> In Korea, now it's pouring just like what the word means.

The village near my clinic was full of water.
>> Correct!

On my way to home, I was so scared, because driving seemed to be too dangerous.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, I came home safely, and then I can do my homework now.
>> Correct!

I am worried about tomorrow for going to work.
>> I am worried about tomorrow when I go to work.

The broadcast said tomorrow will be worse than today.
>> Correct!

Good luck to me and my country.
>> Correct!

Today's homework is about sports.
>> Correct!

Sports give us mental recharging as well as physical health.
>> Sports gives us mental recharging as well as physical health.
Or: Sports recharges us mentall as well as physically.

I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swim, running and so on.
>> I like to do many sports such as tennis, table tennis, badminton, basketball, swimming, running and so on.

And I like to watch a baseball and football.
>> And I like to watch baseball and football.

Recently, I wish I could learn a golf.
>> Correct!

However, as you know it, I can't afford to do that.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I want to swim with my first daughter.
>> Correct!

Until recent days, she have learned swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.
>> (These days/ Recently), she learned to swim from the swimming center, and she is getting better.

I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will be changed.
>> I can swim better than her now, but someday this situation will change.

I am so tired, so now I am going to sleep.
>> Correct!

Good night.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121284 How do you think technology will change how we eat in the future? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 790
121283 8/2 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1051
121282 What is special about your country¡¯s cuisine? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1609
121281 Do you think that money and fame mean success? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 755
121280 Do you want to keep up with fashion trends? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 5
121279 Do you think (or suspect) that people who work for the health... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 821
121278 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1240
121277 HW; 8/2 ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1267
121276 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 2
121275 8.1 ¼÷Á¦ ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 14
121274 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 967
121273 Traveling to a new country. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1218
121272 What was your most recent travel experience? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1309
121271 Stress Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121270 Making three sentences using \"Count\" ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 827
121269 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1580
121268 What do you think is the most common crime in your country? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1884
121267 let me introduce my self ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 4
121266 About school cafeterias ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1
121265 class review. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04