¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you choose to become?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-09 1111

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. He is known as the world's second richest man. By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to become Bill Gates for a day. 

>> CORRECT!


He is known as the world's second richest man. 

>> CORRECT!

By his uncountable enormous money, I would like to buy everything I wanted to get. 

>> CORRECT!

For example, I could dress up with luxury clothes and accessories. 

>> CORRECT!

While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like "It's a great honor to meet you". 

>> While traveling around the world and spending a lot of money, everyone I meet will know my value and treat me preciously or at least say something like, "It's a great honor to meet you". 

The only thing I should do is to enjoy my popularity. 

>> CORRECT!

I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

>> I could also feel the feeling of living with an extraordinary brain, and learn lots of things from the genius thinking process that Bill Gates has. 

Also, Bill Gates will have no lack of speaking English, which is my weekness. 

>> Also, Bill Gates will have no lack in speaking English, which is my weakness. 

Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be very nice experience.

>> Living as a rich, honorable, and genius for a day will be a very nice experience.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121376 If you will build a simple cafe in your area, what will you do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1672
121375 How technology has changed in my life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1094
121374 What kinds of things do you complain about? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 992
121373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1
121372 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 4
121371 Do you like shopping? What do you shop for and who do you shop... ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 790
121370 What are the advantages and disadvantages of staying at a B&B, a... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 866
121369 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 0
121368 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1118
121367 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1704
121366 Have you ever written a poem or a story? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 752
121365 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1
121364 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1197
121363 What is the best way to meet new friends? Discuss in 3 to 5... ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 995
121362 Should languages be preserved? Why or why not? What is the best... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 4
121361 Environmentally trasportation ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1232
121360 Sugar Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1
121359 third time~~ ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 2
121358 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 972
121357 Are there any holidays that you really don¡¯t like? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1178

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04