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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-09 1480

회원님의 영작문

Hello, Donna.
It's past 10 pm and it's pouring outside.
Today, I drove my family car that is a SUV, thus I felt more safer than yesterday.
Tomorrow evening, we have an important contract about new clinic in Seoul.
So, I am worried about the weather.
I hope that tomorrow will be fine.
Today, we started new topic about music.
As you know it, I love music.
I sing a song and listen to music everyday.
There are many kinds of music in the world.
Among them, I love a rock music the most.
In my college days, I was a vocal in my band.
I don't think I was a good singer, but I had a big voice and a special show manship.
In my stage, I used to jump and dance strongly.
Someday I will return the stage. LOL.
Anyway, at that time, our band used to copy old rock musics like "Runaway", "Welcome to the jungle", "We will rock you", and so on.
My best copy song is "Sarang two" that is a Korean song by YB.
Sadly, I probably caught a cold.
I've got to sleep now.
See you tomorrow morning.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Good morning once again, Dr. Kim!

Music is one thing that unites people regardless of race, age, and social status. Lately, streaming is a very convenient trend to access our favorite hit tracks. More than a decade ago, watching live concerts and performances and, watching television, and listening to the radio are the means to enjoy this hobby. I was previledged to hear in class about your heyday in your band career as a vocalist. The intensity on the stage when you perform must be massive. Of course, this comes from a painstaking time of practice and a lot of issues and patience within the band and every member. They say, it was the best while it lasted, thus, I am sure the memories you had will last a lifetime.

I hope that your colds and your weather improves this Wednesday. Best of luck on your business contract signing tonight!

Thank you for sharing this very interesting part of your life about music. Your sentences are simple in structure but displays complex meaning. A few suggestions I made are some basic grammar rules. Go over them well.

Music lives in the heart and it is everywhere we go. Have a fantastic day! See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello, Donna.
>> Correct!

It's past 10 pm and it's pouring outside.
>> Correct!

Today, I drove my family car that is a SUV, thus I felt more safer than yesterday.
>> Today, I drove my family car that is an SUV, thus, I felt safer than yesterday.

Tomorrow evening, we have an important contract about new clinic in Seoul.
>> Tomorrow evening, we have an important contract about the new clinic in Seoul.
Or: Tomorrow night, we have an important contract about the new clinic in Seoul.

So, I am worried about the weather.
>> Correct!

I hope that tomorrow will be fine.
>> Correct!

Today, we started new topic about music.
>> Today, we started a new topic about music.

As you know it, I love music.
>> Correct!

I sing a song and listen to music everyday.
>> Correct!

There are many kinds of music in the world.
>> Corerct!

Among them, I love a rock music the most.
>> Among them, I love rock music the most.

In my college days, I was a vocal in my band.
>> In my college days, I was a vocalist in my band.

I don't think I was a good singer, but I had a big voice and a special show manship.
>> Correct!

In my stage, I used to jump and dance strongly.
>> Correct!

Someday I will return the stage. LOL.
>> Correct! 

Anyway, at that time, our band used to copy old rock musics like "Runaway", "Welcome to the jungle", "We will rock you", and so on.
>> Anyway, at that time, our band used to copy old rock (music/songs) like "Runaway", "Welcome to the jungle", "We will rock you", and so on.

My best copy song is "Sarang two" that is a Korean song by YB.
>> My best cover song is "Sarang two" that is from Korean singer YB.

Sadly, I probably caught a cold.
>> Correct!

I've got to sleep now.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow morning.
>> Correct!
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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04