¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hi Gemmar

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Áø
2022-08-10 1196

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?

I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways. such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food
and so on.
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
I wish we hand over the clean and firtile earth to our children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ms. Eunice! Thanks again for writing your essay! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that to protect the environment, Peole must save enenergy in their daily lives.
>>> I agree that to protect the environment, people must save energy in their daily lives.
In order to save energy, there are lots of ways such as recycling, saving electricity, saving fuel, not wasting food and so on.
>>> CORRECT
but nowdays people wast energy with out any considering because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
>>> But nowadays people waste energy without any considerations because they have never experienced lacking of energy in their life.
To change people, we have to let them think about children's future.
>>> CORRECT
This environment does not belong to us but we rent for a while during in our lives.
>>> This environment does not belong to us but it's a pilgrimage we stay in while we are living.
That means, we have to leave the environment to our children.
>>> CORRECT
I wish we could hand over a clean and fertile earth to our children.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122216 Would you rather go into the past or the future to meet someone... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1623
122215 What can we do to avoid depression? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 1351
122214 09.06.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3
122213 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2257
122212 9/6 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2645
122211 Mars ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2340
122210 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1819
122209 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2478
122208 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 4152
122207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2379
122206 What would you wish for if you saw a falling star? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2146
122205 I\'m sorry teacher but please correct as soon as posible ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1976
122204 How can the government step up more actively to rearrange... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122203 What body language do you think is common in all cultures? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122202 Even though you may have been terrified by a particular ride,... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1647
122201 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2259
122200 Describe your dream house in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2134
122199 Coffee shop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122198 Are you happy with a two-day weekend or should it be three days?... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1749
122197 Use the following phrases in creative sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1634

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04