¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-10 1163

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to make all of the harmful insects disappear. Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc are useless creatures in the world. It's not only worthless but also damaging the spirit of the people. Especially, it is often seen in everyday life in summer, and it is very annoying. Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them itchy. It carries infectious diseases and flies which stuck-on food is disgusting. Recently I got a lot of stress about the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures to die.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to make all of the harmful insects disappear. 

>> CORRECT!


Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc are useless creatures in the world. 

>> Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc. are useless creatures in the world. 

It's not only worthless but also damaging the spirit of the people. 

>> CORRECT!


Especially, it is often seen in everyday life in summer, and it is very annoying. 

>> Especially, it is often seen in everyday life during summer, and it is very annoying. 

Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them itchy. 

>> Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them feel itchy. 

It carries infectious diseases and flies which stuck-on food is disgusting. 

>> It carries infectious diseases and flies which stick on food are disgusting. 

Recently I got a lot of stress about the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures to die.

>> Recently, I got a lot of stress with the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures die.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123022 Do you consider toasting bread, preparing instant noodles, or... Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-17 1
123021 10/14 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 3841
123020 Would you like to move to a country with a lower cost of living?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2527
123019 Compare the home you lived in before to the one you live in now.... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 13
123018 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 3053
123017 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2602
123016 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2425
123015 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2836
123014 What is a good sight to see on Jeju Island? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-10-16 2
123013 Describe your own room in your house. How does it look like?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2
123012 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2531
123011 Use these words in sentences ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 1940
123010 Weaknesses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 0
123009 How do you usually feel on your first first day of class? ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-15 2759
123008 10/14 HOMEWORK ヾ(≧¡ä≦*)o ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2548
123007 10/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2316
123006 spontaneous ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 1911
123005 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2
123004 What does¡°life is what happens to you while you are busy making... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2266
123003 What are some traits of teachers? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-14 2162

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04