¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-10 1454

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to make all of the harmful insects disappear. Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc are useless creatures in the world. It's not only worthless but also damaging the spirit of the people. Especially, it is often seen in everyday life in summer, and it is very annoying. Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them itchy. It carries infectious diseases and flies which stuck-on food is disgusting. Recently I got a lot of stress about the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures to die.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to make all of the harmful insects disappear. 

>> CORRECT!


Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc are useless creatures in the world. 

>> Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc. are useless creatures in the world. 

It's not only worthless but also damaging the spirit of the people. 

>> CORRECT!


Especially, it is often seen in everyday life in summer, and it is very annoying. 

>> Especially, it is often seen in everyday life during summer, and it is very annoying. 

Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them itchy. 

>> Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them feel itchy. 

It carries infectious diseases and flies which stuck-on food is disgusting. 

>> It carries infectious diseases and flies which stick on food are disgusting. 

Recently I got a lot of stress about the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures to die.

>> Recently, I got a lot of stress with the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures die.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120477 Who is the person that you admire the most? . ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1355
120476 What do you both like doing with your closest friend? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 974
120475 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1181
120474 What was the last thing you returned or exchanged? Why?/ How... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2
120473 What is your daily routine? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 929
120472 Do you think people make bad decisions because of peer pressure?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1467
120471 Which is better, renting or buying? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 4
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1881
120469 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 936
120468 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 965
120467 Who in your family or among your friends has the most... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 531
120466 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1064
120465 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 761
120464 How much time do you spend listening to music? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 660
120463 7/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 690
120462 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 802
120461 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120460 What new hobbies would you like to try? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 735
120459 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120458 If a woman wants an abortion, what rights does the father have? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1082

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04