¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2022-08-10 1511

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to make all of the harmful insects disappear. Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc are useless creatures in the world. It's not only worthless but also damaging the spirit of the people. Especially, it is often seen in everyday life in summer, and it is very annoying. Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them itchy. It carries infectious diseases and flies which stuck-on food is disgusting. Recently I got a lot of stress about the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures to die.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Olivia!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I would like to make all of the harmful insects disappear. 

>> CORRECT!


Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc are useless creatures in the world. 

>> Mosquitoes, flies, cockroaches, etc. are useless creatures in the world. 

It's not only worthless but also damaging the spirit of the people. 

>> CORRECT!


Especially, it is often seen in everyday life in summer, and it is very annoying. 

>> Especially, it is often seen in everyday life during summer, and it is very annoying. 

Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them itchy. 

>> Cockroaches are very dirty and mosquito sucks blood from people and make them feel itchy. 

It carries infectious diseases and flies which stuck-on food is disgusting. 

>> It carries infectious diseases and flies which stick on food are disgusting. 

Recently I got a lot of stress about the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures to die.

>> Recently, I got a lot of stress with the flies existing everywhere, so I want to make the annoying creatures die.



-------------PLEASE LIMIT YOUR ANSWER TO 3-5 SENTENCES ONLY NEXT TIME, THANK YOU!--------------------

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119112 2nd homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 511
119111 What is the most fun childhood memory that you had? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 806
119110 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 1
119109 Putin is not a human ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 571
119108 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 0
119107 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®security¡¯? / Do you... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 1
119106 Do illegal immigrants commit a lot of crimes? Why or why not? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 1
119105 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school, or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 617
119104 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 543
119103 5/17 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 591
119102 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 564
119101 Do you prefer to eat at a restaurant or at home? Why? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 697
119100 What do you usually do with your friends? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 660
119099 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school, or... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 800
119098 [Homework] Q. What is your ideal bedroom? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 5
119097 Writing Task(May 16th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 691
119096 5/17 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 581
119095 What is the purpose of art? What are the reasons we visit art... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 697
119094 Homework for 2022.05.17 ¹è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 556
119093 What are the things that you want to have in life? Name at least... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 650

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04