¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you were to give a piece of advice to the younger you, what piece of advice will you give yoursel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-08-12 1288

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Wow, it's an interesting question. If I can do it, I want to say an advice that you should find something like what do you want to? and what do you want to be when you grow up? When I was younger, I didn't know what I was doing. So I want to say that to the younger me. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Elic! I am very impressed with your sentence construction in this homework. You've created good sentences, and you were able to convey the message that you want the reader to understand. Good job! You're making a lot of wonderful progress in your English-learning journey. I'm so proud of you! :)


Wow, it's an interesting question.
>> Correct. OR Wow, this is an interesting question.
If I can do it, I want to say an advice that you should find something like what do you want to? and what do you want to be when you grow up?
>> If I would be given the chance to do it, I'll advise myself to find something that you want to do, something you want to be when you grow up.
When I was younger, I didn't know what I was doing.
>> Correct.
So I want to say that to the younger me. 
>> Correct. OR So I want to tell those things to the younger me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121510 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121509 life expectancy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 754
121508 Should parents help their children set goals? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121507 It seeme like a family birthday party. ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1097
121506 Describe a natural disaster that you have experienced in your... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121505 How is elementary education system in America different with... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121504 What do you love doing with your relatives? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1384
121503 Make decision Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121502 8/10 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 877
121501 Why is helping others important? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 679
121500 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones? /... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1339
121499 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1096
121498 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 902
121497 When I wished the rain would stop Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1118
121496 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1040
121495 What is the best way to enjoy Chuseok without spending too much? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1011
121494 Trading Time for Money ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1529
121493 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 747
121492 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 975
121491 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04