¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you were to give a piece of advice to the younger you, what piece of advice will you give yoursel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-08-12 1608

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Wow, it's an interesting question. If I can do it, I want to say an advice that you should find something like what do you want to? and what do you want to be when you grow up? When I was younger, I didn't know what I was doing. So I want to say that to the younger me. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Elic! I am very impressed with your sentence construction in this homework. You've created good sentences, and you were able to convey the message that you want the reader to understand. Good job! You're making a lot of wonderful progress in your English-learning journey. I'm so proud of you! :)


Wow, it's an interesting question.
>> Correct. OR Wow, this is an interesting question.
If I can do it, I want to say an advice that you should find something like what do you want to? and what do you want to be when you grow up?
>> If I would be given the chance to do it, I'll advise myself to find something that you want to do, something you want to be when you grow up.
When I was younger, I didn't know what I was doing.
>> Correct.
So I want to say that to the younger me. 
>> Correct. OR So I want to tell those things to the younger me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120354 Are video games good for relieving stress? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1070
120353 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 13
120352 annoys & stanger ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1567
120351 How do you think the world would be different if there was only... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1362
120350 What if you could live longer than any other people, what will... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1
120349 What exactly are people looking for when they buy luxury goods? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 1089
120348 Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 0
120347 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 2
120346 why is english fluency significant for you? ±è*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 2
120345 What is the cheapest yet valuable thing that you own? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-01 998
120344 6/30 HOMEWORK(PLEASE CHEER... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 879
120343 Which matters more to you: skill, appearance, or character? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1
120342 What do you usually do with your brothers for fun? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1022
120341 What do you do to save as much electricity as possible during... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1231
120340 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1005
120339 My Interview story (I will send answers of the questions in... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1060
120338 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 3
120337 [ Homework ]Q. What is the most famous sport in Korea? Why? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1
120336 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1007
120335 can you give some examples when the common man has an edge over... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 801

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04