¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you were to give a piece of advice to the younger you, what piece of advice will you give yoursel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-08-12 1736

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Wow, it's an interesting question. If I can do it, I want to say an advice that you should find something like what do you want to? and what do you want to be when you grow up? When I was younger, I didn't know what I was doing. So I want to say that to the younger me. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Elic! I am very impressed with your sentence construction in this homework. You've created good sentences, and you were able to convey the message that you want the reader to understand. Good job! You're making a lot of wonderful progress in your English-learning journey. I'm so proud of you! :)


Wow, it's an interesting question.
>> Correct. OR Wow, this is an interesting question.
If I can do it, I want to say an advice that you should find something like what do you want to? and what do you want to be when you grow up?
>> If I would be given the chance to do it, I'll advise myself to find something that you want to do, something you want to be when you grow up.
When I was younger, I didn't know what I was doing.
>> Correct.
So I want to say that to the younger me. 
>> Correct. OR So I want to tell those things to the younger me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119582 6/3 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 804
119581 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 695
119580 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119579 Are you a patient person? Is it difficult or easy for you? Is it... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 766
119578 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 664
119577 About common problems when traveling ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119576 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 2
119575 How does your family decide who does various chores around the... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 3
119574 Proverb ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 2
119573 Do you think it\'s a good idea to find a partner through dating... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 698
119572 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 874
119571 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119570 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119569 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119568 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119567 How did the pandemic affect you the most? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 873
119566 What is one food you can\'t live without? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 0
119565 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 542
119564 How to relieve stress? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 841
119563 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-03 706

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04