¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about the all-day schooling policy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-18 919

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem. Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. I think that it would be better if there is a supp

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. 
>> CORRECT!
Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
>> Most households have a difficulty to find a nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
OR >> Most households have a difficulty to find nannies due to the service fees and service quality. 
It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
>> It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before; it usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. 
>> CORRECT!
If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem.
>> If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problems.
Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. 
>> CORRECT!
Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. 
>>  Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most of their time at school. 
I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. 
>> CORRECT!
Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. 
>> Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from work. 
Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. 
>> CORRECT!
I think that it would be better if there is a supp
>> I think it would be better if there is a support coming from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121343 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 868
121342 What is your opinion about the article \"Alcohol as Leading... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 731
121341 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 868
121340 Talk about how technology has changed in your lifetime. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 933
121339 Do you think writing will disappear in the future, once... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 831
121338 Previous class review (Han liver park, eggplant, benefits) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121337 Cancer ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121336 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121335 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 0
121334 What ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121333 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121332 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1065
121331 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1056
121330 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2000
121329 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1036
121328 2. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 821
121327 stupid plan ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1030
121326 How older people viewed in yout country? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 2
121325 How are you similar to your parents? How are you different? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 1
121324 How do you overcome fear? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-04 934

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04