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What is your opinion about the all-day schooling policy?

작성자: 황*하
2022-08-18 1048

회원님의 영작문

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem. Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. I think that it would be better if there is a supp

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. 
>> CORRECT!
Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
>> Most households have a difficulty to find a nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
OR >> Most households have a difficulty to find nannies due to the service fees and service quality. 
It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
>> It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before; it usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. 
>> CORRECT!
If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem.
>> If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problems.
Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. 
>> CORRECT!
Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. 
>>  Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most of their time at school. 
I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. 
>> CORRECT!
Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. 
>> Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from work. 
Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. 
>> CORRECT!
I think that it would be better if there is a supp
>> I think it would be better if there is a support coming from the government.
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