¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

About the reasons for violence before television and video games.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2022-08-19 1141

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe the cause of violence before television and video games was human jealousy and greed. All humans have desires. Because people are emotional, they can be sensitive to even the smallest things. I believe that human emotions are the main cause of violence. Television and video games simply encourage people to act on those feelings.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Sheila! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next class! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I believe the cause of violence before television and video games was human jealousy and greed. 
>>> CORRECT!

All humans have desires. Because people are emotional, they can be sensitive to even the smallest things. 
>>> CORRECT!

I believe that human emotions are the main cause of violence. 
>>> CORRECT!

Television and video games simply encourage people to act on those feelings.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121488 What is the strangest food you have ever tried? Describe it for... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 822
121487 Why is swimming your favorite sport? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1040
121486 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1196
121485 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1125
121484 Can you think of a fairytale that had happened or may happen in... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1085
121483 If you could be another man or woman for a day, who could you... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1170
121482 About what a natural disaster is. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1150
121481 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1
121480 What makes a book stay a nicer place to stay in compared to... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1263
121479 Class review À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 2
121478 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1306
121477 During inflation or stagflation, which do you think is better or... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 897
121476 My hometown ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1126
121475 What kind of public transport do you wish your country would... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1242
121474 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 0
121473 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1571
121472 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1140
121471 Aside from the USA, which country do you want to pursue your... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1
121470 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1024
121469 Post a picture of a famous landscape that you have been to or... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-10 1198

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04