¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping at a mall?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°â
2022-08-24 1120

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Mall has many interesting things. But shopping at a mall has advantage and also disadvantage. First the advantage of shopping at a mall is that we can see items directly and we can check the item's actuality by myself. And the disadvantage is that we should go to mall on foot inconveniently and it takes a lot of time. Anyway, I like shopping!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Rana!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Mall has many interesting things. But shopping at a mall has advantage and also disadvantage. 

>> The mall has many interesting things but shopping at a mall has an advantage and also disadvantage. 

First the advantage of shopping at a mall is that we can see items directly and we can check the item's actuality by myself.

>> The advantages of shopping at a mall is that we can see items directly and we can check the item's actuality by ourselves.

 And the disadvantage is that we should go to mall on foot inconveniently and it takes a lot of time. 

>> The disadvantage is that we should go to the mall on foot inconveniently and it takes a lot of time. 

Anyway, I like shopping!

>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123318 What kind of toys do you have? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 1
123317 10.31.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-01 3
123316 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 3281
123315 Healthy ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 3377
123314 what is the most memorable celebration? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 3
123313 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123312 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 14
123311 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2879
123310 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2727
123309 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 3161
123308 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2590
123307 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2
123306 Do you think the weather affects how we feel? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2437
123305 Name some of the tourist attractions in your city. Tell me more... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2943
123304 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123303 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 0
123302 What factors may result in the breakdown of a good friendship? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2073
123301 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 2325
123300 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1
123299 Decision ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-10-31 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04