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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2022-08-26 1287

회원님의 영작문

Happy Friday, Donna.
I am so happy now.
Because, I heard the news that my first daughter won the election.
Thus, I will prepare for celebration with chicken this evening.
Actually, I heard that some of her friends told that they don't like my daughter a few days ago.
So, I was a little bit worried about it.
However, after this election, my daughter will be more confident, so, now I am free from that concern.
Anyway, today's homework is about shopping.
Do you like shopping?
I used to go to the market with my daughters.
They liked it.
While my wife like shopping in department store and outlet, I don't like it so much.
I think I am not used to spending lots of money and time in shopping.
But, I like new things. (I mean new clothes, new bag, new shoes, and so on.)
Meanwhile, as you know, we can purchase everything online these days.
A few months ago, I found the cheapest light treatment device for my clinic online.
Hence, I bought it, and I am so satisfied with that.
Have a nice weekend.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

A happy Friday to you too, Dr. Kim!

I am sure that you are not the only one happy in your family today but most especially your daughter, President Irene, your wife, and your two other girls even if they are innocent of what is going on with their eldest sister. ^^ Congratulations to your daughter! I am certain that she will grow up to be a leader in the field she chooses to pursue just like you. Now, she will be more responsible and confident. They say in my country that, "the future is women" and in your daughters' generation, this is true.

Shopping can make women's eyes pop. Regardless of their favorites such as bags, shoes, jewelry, among others, they also love going around in the supermarkets and the department stores for just about anything. Perhaps you have this experience in your family since you are women dominated. In my case, I am not a fan of shopping as well but I like big things like a house, car, diamond/jewel, or iPhone's latest model since I am aware of their value. Maybe some people are not drawn to material things, only with necessities.

Online shops offer convenience and a wider variety of merchandise. At times, they are cheaper too. Then, order that chicken online and start the Friday fried chicken party for your daughter's success!

This answer had only a couple of grammatical suggestion, excellent job! Thanks to your relentless effort in completing your tasks.

Work hard, party harder.

-T. Donna~

Happy Friday, Donna.
>> Correct!
Or: Happy Friday, Donna!

I am so happy now.
>> Correct!
Or: I am so happy now!/ I'm ecstatic!

Because, I heard the news that my first daughter won the election.
>> Correct!
Or: This is because I heard the news that my first daughter won the election.

Thus, I will prepare for celebration with chicken this evening.
>> Thus, I will prepare for a celebration with chicken this evening.
Or: Thus, I will prepare chicken for the celebration this evening.

Actually, I heard that some of her friends told that they don't like my daughter a few days ago.
>> Correct!

So, I was a little bit worried about it.
>> Correct!

However, after this election, my daughter will be more confident, so, now I am free from that concern.
>> Correct!

Anyway, today's homework is about shopping.
>> Correct!

Do you like shopping?

I used to go to the market with my daughters.
>> Correct!

They liked it.
>> Correct!

While my wife like shopping in department store and outlet, I don't like it so much.
>> While my wife likes shopping in the department store and outlet, I don't like it so much.

I think I am not used to spending lots of money and time in shopping.
>> Correct!

But, I like new things. (I mean new clothes, new bag, new shoes, and so on.)
>> Correct!
Or: (I mean new clothes, bags, shoes, and so on.)

Meanwhile, as you know, we can purchase everything online these days.
>> Correct!

A few months ago, I found the cheapest light treatment device for my clinic online.
>> Correct!

Hence, I bought it, and I am so satisfied with that.
>> Correct!
Or: Hence, I bought it, and I am so satisfied with it.

Have a nice weekend.
>> Correct!
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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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