¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

8/30 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-08-30 1866

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is a beautiful rural area in Korea?

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
Especially, I love Udo island.
I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
There are many beautiful beach and hills.
Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
However, there have been many changes in recent years.
Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning once again, Dr. Stella!

In an episode of the Korean drama "Extraordinary Attorney Woo", there was one about Jeju Island and it sure was breathtaking. This place is complete with the sea, mountain, and all the lovely things nature could offer. Unfortunately, industry as well as progress pave their way and nature needs to be compromised as you have reiterated on your homework answer. This place is surely one on my bucket list.

Here on your composition, some of the grammar suggestions I made are more on the simple and basic ones such as placing the correct determiner 'the', the consistency in the tense of your verbs, and a few spelling. There is so much clarity and style too. You have a great skill in writing so keep it up always!

-T. Donna~

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
>> Correct!

Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
>> Correct!

I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
>> I went to Jeju for the first time about 15 years ago for a school trip.

I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
>> I was very impressed about the view of Jeju.
Or:  I was very impressed about its view.

I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
>> I felt it was very special as if I went on a trip abroad.
 
Especially, I love Udo island.
>> Correct!
Or: I love Udo island most especially.

I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
>> I could enter Udo Island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from the port of Jeju.

There are many beautiful beach and hills.
>> There are many beautiful beaches and hills.

Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
>> Correct!

Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
>> Surely, Jeju still has great sceneries.

However, there have been many changes in recent years.
>> Correct!

Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
>> Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damaged the sights.

It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.
>> It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develop being harmonous with the surroundings.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122181 Please use the expressions in a sentence: ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1100
122180 09.05.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122179 Which is heavier a cookie or a bowl? Which is lighter a pencil... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 0
122178 What is your most favourite vegetable and which do you like the... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1649
122177 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 2159
122176 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1591
122175 Weekend ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1930
122174 What body language do you always use? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-06 1
122173 What is the best dish for you to eat when you¡¯re relaxing at... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1660
122172 How to find someone with confidence. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1781
122171 9/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1798
122170 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1624
122169 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1912
122168 What do you think is the worst crime a person could commit? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1844
122167 What is the best dish for you to eat when you¡¯re relaxing at... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 3109
122166 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2
122165 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2
122164 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1929
122163 Homework ³ë*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 1
122162 What can you say about your friends and what are friends for? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-05 2595

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04