¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

8/30 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-08-30 2160

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is a beautiful rural area in Korea?

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
Especially, I love Udo island.
I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
There are many beautiful beach and hills.
Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
However, there have been many changes in recent years.
Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning once again, Dr. Stella!

In an episode of the Korean drama "Extraordinary Attorney Woo", there was one about Jeju Island and it sure was breathtaking. This place is complete with the sea, mountain, and all the lovely things nature could offer. Unfortunately, industry as well as progress pave their way and nature needs to be compromised as you have reiterated on your homework answer. This place is surely one on my bucket list.

Here on your composition, some of the grammar suggestions I made are more on the simple and basic ones such as placing the correct determiner 'the', the consistency in the tense of your verbs, and a few spelling. There is so much clarity and style too. You have a great skill in writing so keep it up always!

-T. Donna~

Many rural areas in Korea have beautiful scenery.
>> Correct!

Among them, what I like most is Jeju.
>> Correct!

I went Jeju first about 15 years ago for school trip.
>> I went to Jeju for the first time about 15 years ago for a school trip.

I was very impressed about view of Jeju.
>> I was very impressed about the view of Jeju.
Or:  I was very impressed about its view.

I felt it very special, as if I went on a trip to abroad.
>> I felt it was very special as if I went on a trip abroad.
 
Especially, I love Udo island.
>> Correct!
Or: I love Udo island most especially.

I could enter the Udo island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from a port of Jeju.
>> I could enter Udo Island after I took a boat for 10 minutes from the port of Jeju.

There are many beautiful beach and hills.
>> There are many beautiful beaches and hills.

Recently, I went Jeju and I was disappointed because I couldn't see previous beautiful views.
>> Correct!

Surely, Jeju still have great scenes.
>> Surely, Jeju still has great sceneries.

However, there have been many changes in recent years.
>> Correct!

Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damage the sights.
>> Many hotels and facilities for entertainments have been built and they damaged the sights.

It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develope being harmony with surroundings.
>> It's good to increase the convenient facilities, but in my opinion, it's better to conserve the beautiful environment and develop being harmonous with the surroundings.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120697 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1373
120696 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 836
120695 Graduation experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1
120694 homwork Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 0
120693 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1351
120692 Why is gambling addictive? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 864
120691 Plastic bags take up less space in a landfill than paper bags? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1552
120690 HOMEWORK: Tell me something about your favorite song. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 11
120689 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 2
120688 What do you think is the best thing about your generation? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 997
120687 What will you do this weekend? Do you have any specific plans? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 853
120686 [Homework] What culture did you know about Austria after staying... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-13 1
120685 What is one of the best choices you made lately? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 4
120684 What is your opinion about people with tattoos? Explain your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 716
120683 7/12 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1255
120682 What¡¯s the best thing to do to minimize heatstroke in hot... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1042
120681 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 821
120680 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120679 Homework for 12.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120678 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 760

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04