¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

diet

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-08-31 1773

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

That is advice for me.

I have concern a healthy diet because of my breast cancer and overweight.

I am usually a lot manage diet and exercise.

But I am failing because I like bread too much and often do overeat.

I try to maintain good eatind habits , fresh and handmade meal at home.

Anyway I have to suppress overweight.

It's my task and homework.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day Ms. Lily
Food is one of the most irresistible things on earth. Why is it that it's so good to eat?  Well, the article tells us that we can eat more unsaturated fat to prevent cancer. but in my case, choosing those kinds of food is more expensive than my regular food. 
Let's discuss this later :)
Aki~

That is advice for me.
>>> CORRECT!

I have concern a healthy diet because of my breast cancer and overweight.
>>>  I have concerned about a healthy diet because of my breast cancer and being overweight.

I am usually a lot manage diet and exercise.
>>> I usually manage my diet and do a lot of exercises.

But I am failing because I like bread too much and often do overeat.
>>> CORRECT!
or >> But I sometimes fail because I love eating bread too much.

I try to maintain good eating habits , fresh and handmade meal at home.
>>>  I try to maintain good eating habits and prepare fresh and handmade meals at home.

Anyway, I have to suppress overweight.
>>>  Anyway, I have to suppress being overweight.

It's my task and homework.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120915 Why do you think people send their elders to nursing homes? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1242
120914 homework on July 18th ÀÌ* ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 858
120913 There are people who are anti-vaxxers. What do you think of them? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1220
120912 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120911 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1266
120910 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1245
120909 Entertain ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120908 What kind of exercise would you like to try in the future? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1039
120907 Please help me check grammar. ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1177
120906 homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1053
120905 What are the proven benefits of eating meat? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1133
120904 About allowing children ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120903 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120902 Homework ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120901 What genre of English books do you like to read? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 0
120900 What is the worst restaurant that you have ever eaten at? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 3
120899 Do you think being slim equals beautiful? Why or why not? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1016
120898 Choosing subjects Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120897 What¡¯s the best way to get things done on time? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120896 Homework for 07.19.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04