¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you agree that people should sleep less and work more to succeed? Why or why not? Why is sleep im

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-09-01 1897

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There is a saying that "time is gold" and "a bird which wakes up early find food". Both of them mean how important time is. I have learnt that I could succeed if I didn't sleep less than other students. Generally, it is believed that if students study more hours, they will get higher score than they used to be or others but it depends on personal ability and how they spend their time. According to the professionals, it is more important to have break time while students are studying. They stressed that students must take a rest all day on weekends after that they can be refreshed and gain energy to study. I totally agree with those opnion because there are too many students who just sit down on the chair and spend a lot of time without concentration on books. For adults, I think that the way to spend time is more important than time itself like adolescents. However, we should be careful to sleep too much than recommended hours. It makes people lazier as sleep more and more.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

There is a saying that "time is gold" and "a bird which wakes up early find food". 
>> There is a saying that "time is gold" and "a bird which wakes up early finds food". 
Both of them mean how important time is. 
>> CORRECT! 
I have learnt that I could succeed if I didn't sleep less than other students. 
>> CORRECT! 
Generally, it is believed that if students study more hours, they will get higher score than they used to be or others but it depends on personal ability and how they spend their time. 
>> CORRECT! 
According to the professionals, it is more important to have break time while students are studying. 
>> CORRECT! 
They stressed that students must take a rest all day on weekends after that they can be refreshed and gain energy to study. 
>> CORRECT! 
I totally agree with those opnion because there are too many students who just sit down on the chair and spend a lot of time without concentration on books. 
>> I totally agree with those opinions because there are too many students who just sit down on the chair and spend a lot of time without concentration on their books.
OR >>   I totally agree with those opinions because there are too many students who just sit down on the chair and spend a lot of time without focusing on their books.
For adults, I think that the way to spend time is more important than time itself like adolescents. 
>> CORRECT! 
However, we should be careful to sleep too much than recommended hours. 
>> CORRECT! 
It makes people lazier as sleep more and more.
>> It makes people lazier as sleep they more and more.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121392 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-07 873
121391 How can you prepare for potential risks? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 2
121390 08.04.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1
121389 Tourist 2 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 0
121388 At a tourist information center ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 0
121387 Is there a political person/politician that you look up to? If... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1445
121386 What is your opinion about the article \"Gender Equality\"? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1160
121385 Propose ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 1
121384 Is it better to stay at home on holiday or go somewhere? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-08-06 974
121383 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 2275
121382 8/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1329
121381 Who is the best author for you? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1167
121380 my favorite movie line Á¶*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1221
121379 I hate summer ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 823
121378 If you had to leave your home quickly because of danger, what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 764
121377 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 910
121376 If you will build a simple cafe in your area, what will you do... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1826
121375 How technology has changed in my life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1137
121374 What kinds of things do you complain about? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1073
121373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04