¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework: Compare the time you spend with your family when you were young and now that you¡¯ve grown

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2022-09-01 1574

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Homework:
Compare the time you spend with your family when you were young and now that you¡¯ve grown up. Use at least 3 to 4 short paragraphs.



When I was young, I used to play soccer with my family. while doing it, I thought that my father is the most talented soccer player. But for now, My father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.

Instead of it, After I've become grown-up. we sometimes go to watch movies, chewing popcorn or grilled squid. It is a little bit expensive, but sometimes, we're deserve to be luxury.

If I've learned something from it, No matter what to do with, but the important thing is, We're having a good time together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great sentence construction Jason! I understood what you were pointing out. Your ideas were clear and you were able to express yourself well. Please do remember that when you are starting a new sentence, start it with a capital letter. Please review the corrections here as well. Thank you very much! :)


When I was young, I used to play soccer with my family.
>> Correct.
while doing it, I thought that my father is the most talented soccer player.
>> That time, I thought that my father was the most talented soccer player.
But for now, My father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.
>> But now, my father is out of stamina, we don't play soccer anymore.
Instead of it, After I've become grown-up. we sometimes go to watch movies, chewing popcorn or grilled squid.
>> Now that I've grown up instead of playing soccer, we sometimes watch movies and eat popcorn or grilled squid.
It is a little bit expensive, but sometimes, we're deserve to be luxury.
>> It's a little bit expensive but we all deserve to be luxurious sometimes.
If I've learned something from it, No matter what to do with, but the important thing is, We're having a good time together.
>> I've learned that it doesn't matter what I am doing, the important thing is that I have a good time and enjoy it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122698 What is the most exciting part of a concert? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2955
122697 What do you think is the most popular sport in the world? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2745
122696 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2939
122695 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2
122694 What does ¡°beauty lies in the eye of the beholder¡± mean? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 3375
122693 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1
122692 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 3169
122691 How has your health changed when you were younger compared to... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2234
122690 Do you think colors affect your mood? How? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2763
122689 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2279
122688 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2032
122687 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1
122686 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2308
122685 What benefits and drawbacks do you think working abroad has? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2187
122684 Distance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 0
122683 Hi Gemma ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2232
122682 media ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 3316
122681 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 2195
122680 How do you stay cool in the summer? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1
122679 9/28 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-29 1886

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04