¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do we have to protect the Earth?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*¸²
2022-09-05 1915

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



I sent it for photo!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hanah! :)
Thank you for sending your essay here. I have already checked it and I hope this becomes really helpful for you. 
See you in class later! :)
~Teacher Charry

Hello, my name is Hyerim Som. 

We inhabit the Earth but we often forget the importance of water, air and nature.
As if the environment is just an object designed for human consumption in order for them to live well. 
But recently, many people have shown concern and protected the Earth. 
In your opinion, why do people behave this way? 

First, many marine animals are suffering because of our waste products. 
Have you by chance seen a turtle dying from ingesting plastic rubbish? It mistook the trash for food. 
If you keep carelessly throwing away your trashes, more creatures will suffer. 

Second, the Earth continues to get warmer and warmer because of the Green House effect. 
If we generate a lot of green house  gases, it can destroy the ozone layer and can cause the Earth to become warmer. 
Sadly, due to global warming, animals like polar bears are losing their homes. 

Lastly, floods and droughts are getting worse because of the ruthless logging. 
Trees are important because when it rains a lot, their roots absorb the water and when the soil is too dry, it supplies water to the ground. 
But people logged trees so the number of trees that can store and supply water has decreased. 
So nowadays, we experience a lot of floods and droughts in the world. 

Animals and plants continue to become endangered and extinct due to pollution, global warming, and natural disasters such as floods and droughts. 
We also have to think of the Earth's welfare and not just focus on ours. 

Thank you for listening to my speech. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121012 What is your best school memory and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 1309
121011 Do you think having a pet is good? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 1307
121010 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 911
121009 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 1006
121008 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-23 1014
121007 7/22 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 994
121006 What things about summer do I like most and least? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 766
121005 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 2
121004 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 927
121003 What are your feelings about shopping? Is it a pleasure or... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 1006
121002 Diary ^3^ Áö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 758
121001 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 1262
121000 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 3
120999 What is the best thing to do to stay healthy? Do you consider... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 2832
120998 Among those you are not related to, who has helped you most in... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 924
120997 Are men better chefs than women or are women better chefs than... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 797
120996 What is your best school memory and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 860
120995 Why do you think students get bad grades? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 948
120994 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 797
120993 I don¡¯t want to sleep in the jungle. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-22 1067

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04