¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework ◡̈

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çö
2022-09-05 1629

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Title: My Most Unforgettable Childhood Memory

The unforgettable memories of childhood are divided into two types. Good memories or Bad memories.
Actually, Bad memories are memorable more than good memories.
When I was elementary school student, I met a friend who has worst personality.
I and she are close friend. but I had been attacked my mind because of her.
So so some of my childhood is worst unforgetten memory.
I don't know whether she is living well, honestly I don't want her lives are well that though.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Emma! You did great with this topic. You were able to express yourself in complete thoughts. Each sentence you've created are understandable and clear. Please review my corrections, especially the additional words I've included. :)


The unforgettable memories of childhood are divided into two types. Good memories or Bad memories.
>> The unforgettable memories of my childhood are divided into two types, the good memories and bad memories.
Actually, Bad memories are memorable more than good memories.
>> Actually, bad memories are more memorable than the good ones.
When I was elementary school student, I met a friend who has worst personality.
>> When I was an elementary school student, I met a friend who has the worst personality.
I and she are close friend. but I had been attacked my mind because of her.
>> We were close friends, but I had unpleasant thoughts because of her.
So so some of my childhood is worst unforgetten memory.
>> That's why some of my childhood memories are worst and unforgettable.
I don't know whether she is living well, honestly I don't want her lives are well that though.
>> I don't know whether she is living well, honestly I don't want her to live well.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121124 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 537
121123 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®earthquake¡¯? Why do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 585
121122 How different would your life be if there were no Facebook,... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 604
121121 What was the last piece of good news you heard? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 878
121120 The life without books. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 868
121119 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 889
121118 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 2
121117 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 0
121116 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 2
121115 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 823
121114 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 759
121113 Which among your goals have you already achieved? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 532
121112 Previous class review (Husbands job, Korea society problem) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 2
121111 Do you think that art is important to society? Why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 716
121110 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 0
121109 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 1
121108 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 1
121107 smartphone Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 2
121106 move to ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 3
121105 What does your family do on Thanksgiving Day? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-27 796

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04