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Homework: What is the most unpleasant experience you\'ve ever had while traveling

작성자: 김*욱
2022-09-05 1993

회원님의 영작문

Homework:
What is the most unpleasant experience you've ever had while traveling? What caused that unpleasant experience? What did you do to improve your mood? Tell something about it using 2 to 3 short paragraphs only.


I fought with my friends during traveling Kyoto, Japan.
There were some reasons, first, we had been in Japan in summer. as Kansai region is surrounded by ocean, there were so hot and humid, it made me irritated. second, we didn't get roaming service, so we can't use google maps, so we usually asked locals the way. every people we asked were kind on surface, whereas sometimes they informed wrong way to us. so we got lost and we wandered almost over 20 hours during the trip.
I was annoyed so much, after that, back to Osaka, we went to naniwanoyu onsen. dipping my body into the pool, I felt comfortable and relieved. after that, I got a coffee milk from vending machine. that was really awesome.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

This is a very good effort, Jason! Your sentences have complete thought. I am very happy how you express yourself in this homework. Please just observe correct capitalization and correct punctuation. Please review my corrections, especially the extra words I placed there and the ones I removed. Thank you! :)


I fought with my friends during traveling Kyoto, Japan.
>> I fought with my friends during our travel to Kyoto, Japan.
There were some reasons, first, we had been in Japan in summer.
>> Correct.
as Kansai region is surrounded by ocean, there were so hot and humid, it made me irritated.
>> As Kansai region is surrounded by the ocean, the weather was so hot and humid and it made me irritated.
second, we didn't get roaming service, so we can't use google maps, so we usually asked locals the way.
>> Secondly, we didn't get any roaming service, so we can't use google maps, so we had to ask some locals for directions.
every people we asked were kind on surface, whereas sometimes they informed wrong way to us.
>> Every people we asked were kind on surface, whereas sometimes some of them tell us the wrong way to go.
so we got lost and we wandered almost over 20 hours during the trip.
>> Correct. (please observe correct capitalization)
I was annoyed so much, after that, back to Osaka, we went to naniwanoyu onsen.
>> I was annoyed so much, after that we went back to Osaka, we went to Naniwanoyu Onsen.
dipping my body into the pool, I felt comfortable and relieved.
>> Correct. (please observe correct capitalization)
after that, I got a coffee milk from vending machine. that was really awesome.
>> After that, I got some coffee milk from a vending machine, it was really awesome.
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